Busy vs. Surgical

This blog post offers no clear solutions, probably not even a sliver of wisdom. It’s simply an exploration of an internal struggle I’m facing as I try to maximize my leadership of my company, family, and community—to feel personally whole. I’m thinking out loud through my blog, and I hope the vulnerability I share here inspires deep conversations and connections.

This post was triggered by my impatience this morning to see how things will unfold in 2025: financials, cash flow, ERP implementation, and the new business development projects I’ve been working on. It was further fueled by frustration after reading an Inc. article that talked about Warren Buffet spending 80% of his time thinking (I’m jealous).  Then I read a quote from Abe Lincoln about spending four of six hours sharpening his axe before cutting down a tree. That’s the mindset I need to adopt.  Work like a surgeon, be over prepared for the decsion making that lies ahead.

The Problem

I cannot sit still—and I don’t mean physically. I mean I struggle with not doing, not thinking, and not accomplishing something. Why is this an issue? Because I’m not getting any younger, and the problems, systems, and dynamics I face are more complex than ever. They demand surgical precision, not broad, sweeping energy and brute effort.

It’s hard for me to be patient and approach the business with pinpointed decision-making. This is partly due to my genetic disposition, my upbringing, and the stage my company is in. When I’m not actively accomplishing something—checking items off a to-do list—I feel guilt.

For those who don’t know, the Pearson and Murray clans from which I descend are proud, creative doers and achievers. I’m no different. My identity has been tied to accomplishment since I was old enough to walk and talk. I engineered a better way for my mom to do laundry when I was a child—and then told her so. She still giggles when she tells that story.

I continually try—and fail—to find my intrinsic value as a human being who simply loves and helps others. I’m leaning into my faith to tackle that issue. But that’s a topic for another blog post—or maybe a book—on another day....if I ever actually get there.

 

The Roots of My Mindset

I grew up in Rochester, NY, in the 1980s and 1990s, a time when once-great companies rapidly declined. Kodak, Bausch & Lomb, and Xerox—once giants—are now shadows of their former selves. I watched my dad, uncles, and friends work enormous hours just to survive and make a living, always wondering or fearing what tomorrow will bring.

When I was born, Kodak employed over 100,000 people. By 2023, that number was fewer than 4,000. My wife’s and my great-grandparents were children of the Great Depression. I was born with a scarcity mindset, living by the mantra: Outwork everyone, and everything will be okay.

This anxious, tenacious energy built one hell of a company—if I do say so myself. I was all about doing, and doing faster than anyone else. But that’s not what my company needs right now. What it needs is a patient, caring, and boldly calm leader.

What This Year Demands of Me

This year, I need to:

• Grow sales.
• Implement an ERP system.
• Generate more cash flow.
• Lead my Grateful 8 YPO Forum through a year of discernment.
• Help my business brother prepare for the next generation of the company.
• Be healthier (WTF, the weight struggle never ends).
• Maximize time with my kids (ages 10, 13, and 16). Precious moments with my 16-year-old are dwindling as college looms in less than two years.
• Care for aging family members and relatives in poor health.

What I Truly Want

What I want to do is:

• Maximize time with my kids and Kelly, traveling and seeking adventure together.
• Be there at a moment’s notice when family and friends need me—and anticipate their needs before they arise—without feeling economic external pressures.
• Lead my company through inspiration and deeply savor the wins.
• Be healthy enough to ski, drive, and play hockey at a performance level that brings joy.
• Work on and drive my cars fast—because Cole Road isn’t going to enjoy itself.
• Build some things (a watch, a clock, maybe another race car or a V10 engine).
• Read/listen to a ton of books
• Deepen my relationships and make new friends as well
• Be at peace

I’m pretty sure my wife just wants me to eat a healthy lunch every day (sadly, I forgot again today) and play hockey with our youngest.

The Challenge

Finding peace in the chaos of life is tough, but it’s essential. Hopefully, I’ll get a little farther on that journey this year.

 

- Ben